Another One Has Gone

While Jenn was alive we met another mother who was battling a rare cancer.  She had actually gone into remission toward the end of Jenn’s life but early last year it had come back and on Friday night she had lost her battle and had left her loved ones to be with God.

It just brings back alot of old emotions from when Jenn died and I feel like I’m living it all over again.

I did not know her on a very personal level and I had never met her but we had corresponded via email and facebook.  She was always so brave and pro-active in beating her cancer.  When Jenn was alive I had wished that her gung ho attitude would rub off on her.

There is now another child in the world that has lost their mother at a young age.  It’s so sad and so depressing.  All this news of cancer has such a devastating impact on one’s soul.

God bless everyone who’s lost a loved one to cancer.  I feel you.

3rd Christmas with out you

I’ve been thinking about you alot lately.  I still miss you immensely.  If I close my eyes and think hard enough I can still hear your voice in my head.  I’m kind of sad that I didn’t take more pictures of you and with you.  At the time I was trying to be respectful of your wishes and not take pictures but in the back of my mind I knew I would regret it.  I love you and miss you so much!

Summer is doing incredibly well.  She’s doing well at after school, art school, and violin.  You would be so proud of her.  You probably already know without me telling you.  She is also very close to paternal side of the family and we are trying our best to make her life happy and comfortable.  Kisses from here on earth.  Can’t wait to see and touch you again.

Jane

1 year

It’s 1 year today.  It was a Sunday, you didn’t talk much but we were by your side the entire time.  Who knew that you would be leaving us that night.  Now here we are 1 year later still mourning you.  I love you Jenn so much.  Have a happy 1st birthday in Heaven.  I miss you tons.

XOXO

Jane

Avoiding

It’s that time of year to celebrate your first birthday in Heaven but I’ve been avoiding it.  I still have not come to terms with your death and I know I never will.  Of course there are many days that I don’t dwell on it and I can go on living life smiling but in the back of my head all my memories of you still haunt me.  Your friends want to get together to celebrate your Heavenly birthday and I know  you deserve to be celebrated and remembered but I’m not too excited about it.  I’m dreading the next few days because this coming Monday is the day God took you away from us.

Jane

Thank you

Dear Summer,

Thank you for being such an amazing child.  Thank you for being sweet, caring, well behaved, studious, and overall wonderful.  You are a joy to raise and everyone loves you so much.  No matter whatever life throws at you, you have a HUGE family and an infinite amount of aunties and uncles that’ll be there to back you up and catch you when you fall.  I know that no one in this world can ever replace umma but know that your family loves you unconditionally.  You are our blood and bones.  I love you with my entire soul.  Sarang hae baby.

Jane Eemo

Was it you?

It was 5:50 pm in Los Angeles and at least 86 degrees outside and there it was a double rainbow.

I don’t even remember the last time I saw a rainbow.  I’ve been so sad lately thinking about you.

Was it you trying to let me know that it was going to be okay? 

Jane

I’m Free

 

I’m Free

 

Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m Free.

I’m following the path God laid for me,

I took His hand when I heard Him call,

I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day

To laugh, to love, to work, or play.

Tasks left undone must stay that way,

I found that place at the close of the day.

If my parting has left a void

Then fill it with remembered Joy.

A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,

Ah yes, these things, I too, will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow.

I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.

My life’s been full, I savored much:

Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief.

Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.

Lift up your heart and share with me.

God wanted me now, He set me free.

 

~Author unknown~